!!!

(I’m the assistant manager of my store. I’m at work on a quiet day when I get the following call.)
Caller: “Hello. I’ve got a problem here.”
Me: “Sorry to hear that. What’s the issue?”
Caller: “A refund with you guys didn’t show up on my credit statement!”
(It’s rare, but possible for an employee to make the mistake of charging the card a second time instead of refunding the money, so I check that right away.)
Me: “Oh, dear… By any chance does the same charge from us come up twice? If so—”
Caller: “No, no. There’s just no refund listed!”
(Baffled, I get her to give me the date and number from her receipt so I can look up the transaction.)
Me: “Oh, so, this is the sale transaction, not the refund. When did you come in to return the items?”
Caller: “I didn’t.”
Me: “You… Sorry, what?”
Caller: “I didn’t return them.”
Me: “So… you didn’t actually do a return with us, and now you’re wondering why there’s no refund on your credit statement?”
Caller: “Well, it just sounds silly when you put it like that!”